Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Self Indulgent Post Lunchtime Scribble Nonsense
It's all pretty self indulgent... down to the signature. I've been thinking a lot about who I am as an artist and who I want to be. I've been trying to give myself small goals, most of which i don't meet. I'm totally bogged with freelance, so I can't really put the time into my personal work that I would like... but maybe I'm taking on the freelance because I'm just too terrified to really dive in to my own work and develop some of my own ideas. I don't know.... but I do feel like I'm about ready to just go for it... once I get all of this freelance finished.
I showed Jim this drawing and he said "You fill a page like water curling around rocks." Wow. I thought that was a great compliment, and it really describes how I feel when I'm scribbling out a page like this. It becomes a very soothing meditative process for me. I just let things happen and I go with them. What I find interesting about this process for me is that I'm not really thinking about any one big idea or image. The page just seems to grow organically. My dilemma is that I wish I could put the same type of loose energy and spontaneity into something that I've planned for myself, controlling the "flow of the water" around "rocks" that I've planned out. Or maybe I don't have to, maybe I should be happy that these images can just flow out. It's definitely a stress reliever for me.