Self Indulgent Post Lunchtime Scribble Nonsense

It's all pretty self indulgent... down to the signature. I've been thinking a lot about who I am as an artist and who I want to be. I've been trying to give myself small goals, most of which i don't meet. I'm totally bogged with freelance, so I can't really put the time into my personal work that I would like... but maybe I'm taking on the freelance because I'm just too terrified to really dive in to my own work and develop some of my own ideas. I don't know.... but I do feel like I'm about ready to just go for it... once I get all of this freelance finished.

I showed Jim this drawing and he said "You fill a page like water curling around rocks." Wow. I thought that was a great compliment, and it really describes how I feel when I'm scribbling out a page like this. It becomes a very soothing meditative process for me. I just let things happen and I go with them. What I find interesting about this process for me is that I'm not really thinking about any one big idea or image. The page just seems to grow organically. My dilemma is that I wish I could put the same type of loose energy and spontaneity into something that I've planned for myself, controlling the "flow of the water" around "rocks" that I've planned out. Or maybe I don't have to, maybe I should be happy that these images can just flow out. It's definitely a stress reliever for me.

Justin Wright

We received really sad news two nights ago about the passing of our friend Justin Wright. Justin is a very close friend of Amanda's and he will be missed.

Before I met Justin, I only knew him as Amanda's friend from Calarts that could compose novellas of text messages in record time and that he was working at Pixar and really really really loved it. We took a trip up to Pixar to see a bunch of friends, Justin being one. We were sitting in the Pixar cafeteria and Amanda smiled brightly as Justin approached to sit down with us. I looked over my shoulder looking for Justin, whom I had never met, and it was plain as day who he was. He approached us and had huge smile and was wearing a Pixar cap, Pixar jacket, Pixar sweatshirt, Pixar basketball sneakers with Pixar shoe lace clips. He did really love being there, and I couldn't help but smile.

And speaking of fashion, the last time I got to really speak to Justin was at Ant and Mich's wedding. Justin had chosen to wear his shoes sans socks. We discussed in quite a lot of detail the pros and cons of going sockless and we came to the conclusion that Justin was just that much more fashion forward than sock clad me.

Any way... Amanda is really the one who should be writing about Justin. They shared a closeness that only the best of friends can have. So the following is from Amanda.

For Justin,

It is so hard for me to put into words how much you
mean to me. Your excitement, energy, numerous artistic
talents and witty sense of humor are only a few of
many wonderful qualities that draws people to you, but
what I learned from you and admire most is the way you
care for those who are important to you. You are
someone who truly understands the meaning of
friendship, and you made that clear to me time after
time. You selflessly helped me through some of my
darkest times and somehow always knew when and how to
make me feel good when I needed it most. You even
lifted my spirits in simple e-mail just a few short
days ago and you probably didn't even know it.

Sometimes I felt like we could communicate without
even having to say a word. (Even though sometimes we
probably shared too many thru the world of text
messaging... haha) We shared a unique bond that only
a few might understand. You are probably the only person
that can make me so angry, yet make me laugh so
happily all in one given moment. I have loved to hate
you and loved to love you since the first time we met.
You have made a true mark on me and as my friend and I
don't know how to begin to show thanks for all the
amazing memories we created. You will always hold a
very special and distinct place in my heart. I love
you my friend, and will miss you here tremendously.

Love,
Amanda